The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

I'm back! After months of inactivity, I've gotten off my lazy bum to start posting again. I'm going to start of with some dry humour.

Random humour I came across in the last two weeks:

  • A guy was speaking to me about 5 minutes back about his trip to the United States, where he visited New Jersey, Disneyland, Universal Studios, Mexico & Vancouver. That's right - Mexico & Vancouver. He either thought that the United States referred to the continent or....

  • Three guys, a girl & I make our way to the wonderful airport in Katunayake. The air force security, in their infinite wisdom, stops us. They want to know who's going abroad, so I point at one of the guys. They take his passport, examines it carefully, and says that they want to see his baggage. So we take out the suitcase, and before the security guys open it, they ask if this is a lady's bag. What the ...? What on earth were they thinking? If this is our security, no wonder we get bombed so often...

  • Last week, I went to one of those 'posh' restaurants in Colombo with a friend. I asked for a cheese & tomato sandwich, and after a great deal of time, they brought a cheese, tomato and ham sandwich. My friend told the waiter 'she doesn't eat meat'. At which point the waiter very halpfully told us 'Don't worry, no meat in this sir. Only chicken.' Right. Because chickens, are in fact, fish.

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Be true to your heart, and true to your conscience.

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