The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

So, for some bizarre reason, I found myself seated in one of the first rows, at the Ford Models’ Super Model of the World, Sri Lanka contest. True to my nature, I successfully embarrassed the friend I accompanied there by reading a magazine during parts of the show. It wasn’t that boring, but I don’t have an appetite to watch scrawny semi-naked women primp & preen. If you’re wondering why I went, it was for the free food. Really.

So, let me make a list of all what caught my eye:

The red bra. One of the models thought it would be really cool to wear a bright red (or pink) bra under a white t-shirt under blazing lights and strut up and down the ramp. Do they think it’s really clever fashion sense, or is it merely to titillate the guys? Personally, I think it looks trampish, but you can never account for the tastes of some…Note to self: ask a guy and doublecheck.

More colour faux pas. We had peaches n’ cream complexion, bright red dress, bright lights - and white thong. It looked just plain silly, if you ask me. Can you picture? Strutting up & down, for a good ten minutes or so, front-back, front-back….I really hope that at least guys found such gaffes attractive, because such idiocies (from models, that too) needs some kind of excuse.

Babydolls. For the fashion uninitiated, that’s a kind of lingerie that has made its way to party wear. Of course, it resembles something like what these Hollywoodites are wearing when used as party wear.
What our local lasses decided to wear were similar to the black sample displayed here (note length). They may as well have worn swimwear or lingerie, for all the skin they exposed. The saddest bit was since we were seated several feet below them, we got an unnecessarily good view up their dresses. I kid you not. Of course, the view mainly consisted of out-of-shape butts. It was just too silly. Lucky me, I had my magazine.

Closely related to the baby dolls were the shapely legs that desperately needed make up. Scars, spots, blotches, were all visible, ass to ankle. I’m genuinely surprised that nobody looked into this.
The show started with saris, but for some reason I’m putting it last (is it that my memory is failing me?). Who was in charge of the dressing? I’m no expert, but even I could’ve draped a better sari. Some girls were wearing saris that barely had three pleats – and believe me, they were not attempting fusion.

And before I forget, the models were SCRAWNY. The winner was just about passable. Surfboard chest, surfboard stomach...they looked like 15 year old boys. Ok, so some of them weren't exactly flat, but without the push-up bras, they'd have been lost. Maybe I've lost the plot somewhere, but we don't need to advertise malnourishment in such an obvious manner. That aside, I feel sorry for men who find such waifs attractive.

Yup, I think I covered it all (no pun intended).

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