The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

…except that I have no penis. Because I am a woman. Yet, I get an email stating that my penis enlargement is ready, should I wish to collect it. I have been invited to rate sexy girls, learn how to please women and to keep poor lonely girls who happen to be vixens -in-bed company. I have also been invited to learn about the mysterious sexual qualities of the humble lemon rind.

The amazing thing was that this was the very first email I received (on the completely unnecessary enlargement) after configuring a new email ID at office. How these cretins got an email address that was thus far non-existent I do not know (the rest came to my longstanding gmail account).

It would be amusing, if I didn’t receive this crap at least thrice a day, with no links on how to unsubscribe from this sexual activity frenzy. I do not know of any man who actually follows these links and vote on women, chat them up, or actually get that enlargement. Some discreet, selective…dare I say, intelligent targeting might save them a lot of time, money and energy. Not that I picture these sites making a lot of money, but still. Some amount of intelligent managing might actually help their business.

Seriously though, where do they get our email IDS from? Especially ones that were created 2 nanoseconds before they actually sent out their latest email? And why on earth do they cater exclusively to men? I could rate some ultra sexy men, given the right temptation. But do they give me such temptation? Nooooooooooo... all I get is some enlargement offers for equipment I don’t even have!

Someday (not too soon), I shall get to the bottom of this mystery. Till then, I shall watch my inbox enlarge before I prune it.

3 comments:

Bit unrelated, but junk mail via post is extremely useful. I love the pre-paid envelopes that credit card companies thoughtfully send out. I stuff in all the flyers and leaflets (for pizza delivery etc) that also come through the mail slot into those envelopes and stick it in the mail-box. Problem solved.

You have to get your IT/Tech guy/girl at office to take a look at your office mail server. The Spam settings might be too low, for your company's sake. But keep in mind that the more you increase the setting, the higher the chance of a valid email also gets chucked in some dark corner of the mail server, labeled as "spam". So it's a choice you guys have to make.

As for how they got ur address? well it's simple. They send like a gazillion mails to your server with every possible combination. Also the last thing you want to do is click on a link, even though it may be "unsubscribe", coz that will tell them the email address is active. and send you MORE spam. These guys don't play by the rules. He he.

As for why spam for Men? They are being totally sexist! They figure that only Men will be stupid enough to be tempted to click on a link that says "Free Access" to some hot Celebs latest nude pic gallery. Let's start a movement so that spammers out there will know that women are equally STUPID enough. Specially when it comes to the Nigerian guy who's looking for a guy to transfer his assets over to your account, or saving that poor girl who's suffering from cancer or what not. :)

Till then Enjoy your spam! Or use Mozilla Thunderbird with built in spam protection.

Hilarious, And Lady you are not the only one to suffer this attention. I have been getting a lot of this kinda spam. I get this kinda spam mixed with the things Chaarmax is talking about. Only I didnt go all the way to claim my dollars.

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