The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

With Friday the 13th being some way off, I thought that last week would be relatively decent, but boy, was I in for a rude shock. It was a week that got consecutively worse, so now I feel compelled to dedicate an entire post to it. Yeah, in case you were wondering, this is aside from the rest of the rants I’ve been posting throughout the week.

Monday the 26th

Started out as a normal day. A day in which, among other things, I thought I could leave early due to having an exam the next day. I came exclusively to office to collect my salary cheques, but the Finance dept., true to style, made sure they released all payments to synchronize with the closing of banks for the day. Grrrrrrrrrrr. So much for Monday, then. Then the tarot reading I had arranged for myself went up in smokes when the cards failed to materialize. As I was about to leave, caboom! went the bomb. So I ended up hanging around office till the traffic ceased, mildly helping out a friend who needed to release an artwork for the next day. As I kept smsing various different people assuring them that I wasn’t inside a Panadura bound train because I use my car, Dialog decided that it was the perfect time for them to bar my phone….and a mere Rs.7500/=, they assured me, was enough to get it reconnected. Monday ended with my suffering from such a splitting migraine that I couldn’t even manage to have dinner before I crashed into bed.

Tuesday the 27th

Probably the worst day of the entire lot. Went for the exam, and suffered a mild cardiac arrest when I realized that out of eight questions, I could only answer 1 ½. Probably my second strongest subject, and it should’ve been a cake walk. But noooooooooooo. Some sadistic prick in England decided that he was going to set a paper on the most obscure topics in the syllabus that only he knew existed. So I was effectively screwed. Walked out of the BMICH knowing that I had for sure failed one paper.

Having a medical to finish for my elusive Canadian PR, I headed towards Nawaloka. And what fun Nawaloka was! Just like an obstacle race. Turned up at the PR office, was asked to pay first (Rs.2000!!!! For a pint of blood and an x-ray?????) and when I went back, was asked for a photocopy of my passport. Didn’t have a photocopy, so I asked them to get one for me. At which point I discovered that the whole of Nawaloka had only one photocopy machine, guarded by Hydra. I went off for the blood tests, hoping that Hydra would’ve fallen asleep by the time I returned. The blood tests took about 45 minutes, in which the first 40 consisted of my listening to a 5 year old bellow endlessly about how an injection was going to kill him. After discovering that he unfortunately had survived the ordeal, I gave away three tubes full of blood and went to the x-ray room. Waited there for 1 ½ hours, because that’s how good Nawaloka is at taking x-rays. Another 20 minutes dedicated to battling Hydra saw me finally exit this ‘hospital’.

Went to Odel, hoping to pay my mobile bill, only to discover that Dialog, in their infinite wisdom, had decided to remove their payment centre. Makes perfect sense, right? Customers had free parking, heart of the city, frequent meeting place etc. How can Dialog possibly encourage such convenience? Drove around town, looking for inconvenience, also known as Dialog Telekom payment centres.

I thought the day couldn’t get any worse, but I was proved wrong. A hapless man on a scooter decided that my buffer needed remodeling. So he rammed his scooter into my buffer. Was too tired to fight, waaaay too tired to wait for insurance, so I just let him go.

Definitely the worst day.

Wednesday the 28th

Overall, not such a bad day. Except that my landlady decided to wake me up at the crack of dawn just to announce her arrival back into the paradise isle. And I discovered that instead of getting me the knee-length boots I asked for, she got me black party shoes. At least the shoes looked good. Everything else she got me made absolutely no sense to me, because they were makeup in various forms, and moi, I do not wear makeup. At all.

Oh yeah, then my body decided to cough up blood. Third non-consecutive day, so the unhappy realization that I will have to drag myself to a doctor finally decided to cross my mind. Day officially ruined.

Thursday the 29th

Yet another exam. This time, went much better than expected, so I thought it would be a good day. Muwahahahahahaha!! Boy, I can really be stupid sometimes!

Made a doctors appointment for 7 p.m. Should’ve headed home till then, but was attacked by temporary insanity. Which led me to office. Where I discovered that a dear (former) friend had decided to bitch about me. Behind my back. With information that he gained from me. Yes, it hurt quite a bit.

Killed time till my doctor’s appointment, only to have the doctor’s office call me at 6.30 to inform me that the appointment is cancelled.

Yet another lousy day.

Friday the 30th

The morning (and by that I mean the hours from when I woke up to the time I reached office) went quite well. The first sign of a bad day was when my mother called to inform me that I had no lunch. Then my former friend decided to turn the knife that he had left in my back. Ouch.

The next three hours saw a client I refused to sleep with exact his revenge. For the nth time. No, my misery wasn’t over just yet. Next I successfully put my foot in my mouth by accepting a dinner invitation without whetting the guest list. No way to back out now!

Had to kill time till my rescheduled doctor’s appointment at 7p.m., so decided to drive a friend around town while he finished some of his errands. Successfully parked and then reversed out of Leo Burnett, which doesn’t have the easiest parking lot. But that turned out to be a red herring, because I next went to a small agency with one client and no parking, only to successfully knock my car on a piece of metal jutting out of the side walk, conveniently below eye level.

Having now double booked myself with the doctor and the insurance people, I chose to forgo the doc. Only to find out that he had been planning to cancel me as well! Waited an hour plus for insurance, because he decided to follow only half the given directions to the accident site.

Finally winded up at the dinner, only to discover that it was a trap of sorts, and friends who decide to drop you like a hot potato don’t quite want to drink with you. Also discovered that chestnuts were unavailable in Sri Lanka. Damn it!

Saturday the 31st

I discovered at exactly 2.30p.m. that there was a water cut. And my tank decided to die on me at such a crucial time. Grrrrrrrrr. Had to shower at my landlady’s, before I met my doctor at long last.

The doctor informed me that I need to do three dozen blood tests, along with the mildly disturbing information that I have a slight lump in my throat. After the day was officially ruined in this manner, I discovered that the whole of Colombo didn’t have water. Further discussions with a friend left me to realize that I had precious few people in my address book that I could inconvenience for a shower. That Moratuwa to Kotte didn’t have water was no help. After inconveniencing my landlady for a second time, I went to sleep knowing that an explosion in Wellawatte made a fitting end to a disastrous week.

11 comments:

My goodness!!
And I thought I was having a bad week!

well...hope your bad luck runs out very soon!

Um.... just a little suggestion. Maybe you should consider getting your eyes tested too.... cos the "little agency with a single client" has plenty of parking.... in fact enough for about 12 cars!
;)

knee high boots? in Sri Lanka? or were they boots for horse riding for when you get on your high horse????

"Knee High Boots"

Were u by any chance preparing for some floods??lol

Sounds like an absolute nightmare!! I hope things are a lot better this (and the coming) week(s)! :)

This comment has been removed by the author.

Aaah Anonymous, I think I know who you are! :p

I have boots made specially for my riding occasions, and living on top of a hill has kept me safe from floods so far. The boots I wanted were summer boots, to go with skirts of all lengths, and the denims.

Yeah Sasani & Scrumpulicious,the week was an absolute nightmare - I don't think even I've had such consecutively bad days!

This week is only marginally better, and you'll see the deep philosophical issues that are racking my brain appearing here very soon!

The First Annonymous said... 3 June 2008 at 05:11  

The second comment wasn't me....

Wow what a week

Well here's hoping you have a good one this week

Cheers!!!

Hey I think you should carry a certified health warning for people to beware... that your head is stuck so far up your arse it is crazy!!!!

Poor you... I share your pain of having a sickening week. I always wanted knee high boots, never had the joy of getting them, probably will not have the gits to wear them anyway. hope the blood tests come out ok.

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