The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

…except that I have no penis. Because I am a woman. Yet, I get an email stating that my penis enlargement is ready, should I wish to collect it. I have been invited to rate sexy girls, learn how to please women and to keep poor lonely girls who happen to be vixens -in-bed company. I have also been invited to learn about the mysterious sexual qualities of the humble lemon rind.

The amazing thing was that this was the very first email I received (on the completely unnecessary enlargement) after configuring a new email ID at office. How these cretins got an email address that was thus far non-existent I do not know (the rest came to my longstanding gmail account).

It would be amusing, if I didn’t receive this crap at least thrice a day, with no links on how to unsubscribe from this sexual activity frenzy. I do not know of any man who actually follows these links and vote on women, chat them up, or actually get that enlargement. Some discreet, selective…dare I say, intelligent targeting might save them a lot of time, money and energy. Not that I picture these sites making a lot of money, but still. Some amount of intelligent managing might actually help their business.

Seriously though, where do they get our email IDS from? Especially ones that were created 2 nanoseconds before they actually sent out their latest email? And why on earth do they cater exclusively to men? I could rate some ultra sexy men, given the right temptation. But do they give me such temptation? Nooooooooooo... all I get is some enlargement offers for equipment I don’t even have!

Someday (not too soon), I shall get to the bottom of this mystery. Till then, I shall watch my inbox enlarge before I prune it.

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Be true to your heart, and true to your conscience.

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