The Shoat Statements

Random musings by the multiple voices inside my head.

With a friend pouring her heart out about her marital issues, I'm compelled to write on the topic. She's newly married, and fairly miserable with her husband, and from the sound of the story, he must be equally miserable, if for different reasons. Clearly, they don't quite gel, and they don't sound like two people who should've got married to begin with.

At which point I'm reminded of what I said few weeks ago about loving and falling in love. She clearly didn't realise the difference between the two when she got married. Love and marriage are so much more than exchanging rings, keeping framed photos of each other, and the usual candy hearts, stuffed toys and flowers. The love buzz is all nice and fine for as long as it's there, but can you really build a future on it?

Reality isn't a white picket fence with 2.5 kids and two cars in the garage. Photo frames and flowers don't help much when you're fighting like cats. People have to realise that to share a life of love, it needs a little more than just being in love.

The sad thing is, pride and fear will keep her from doing what she should. Too proud to say that she made a mistake, and took a wrong turn. Too proud to say that she defied her family for the wrong man. To afraid to face life alone, she'd rather stay with a man she will soon be unable to stand. Pride and fear are two terrible things. I don't understand how people willingly choose unhappiness over chance. I mean, it seems fairly simple to figure out if one is happy or not. And if the person you're in love with isn't making you happy, or is causing unhappiness, doesn't that say something? Is that really love? Would a person who loves you really watch you suffer?

I read on Cosmopolitan that sometimes people delay breaking up (or divorce) by up to two years, though they know that they should do it. How sad is that? But it's probably true. In the case of my friend, it seems spot on. I'm guessing she will unhappily stay in this marriage, becoming more and more unhappy by the day, but unfortunately, not having the required guts to walk away.

Be warned: as bizarre as the following two stories are, they are nevertheless true stories.

True Story 1 - Part 1:

A couple of months ago, I was involved in producing 03 TV commercials featuring Lasith Malinga. Last week, I had the following conversation with a colleague.

Insane Copywriter: Queen, you worked on those commercials with Lasith Malinga, right?

Me: Yes...why?

Insane Copywriter: Can I have his phone number?


Insane Copywriter: Can I have his phone number?

Me: What??

Insane Copywriter: Can I have his phone number?

Me: Umm...uh....I don't have it...why?

Insane Copywriter: Well, there was this interview in which he mentioned this doctor who had helped cure his knee problem...I need that doctor's details.

Me: ??!!! I can't just call up Lasith Malinga and ask him for his doctor's details!!

Insane Copywriter: Why not? You worked with him. Why can't you call him?

Me: You can't just call up celebrities and ask them for their doctor's number, especially when you barely know them.

Insane Copywriter: Why not? You did a commercial together. He should understand.

Me: Uh....I don't have his number (then I ran away and hid under someone else's table for the longest time and emerged only in the late afternoon).

True Story 1 - Part 2:

Later that day...

Even Crazier ECD: Queen, can you do me a favour?

Me: Sure...what is it?

Even Crazier ECD: Do you have Lasith Malinga's number?

Me:??!! (thinking 'oh no, not again') No, I don't.

Even Crazier ECD: See, the Insane Copywriter wants his number to get his doctor's details because her husband has a similar leg pain...can't you get Malinga's doctor's details from him? You used to contact him for the shoot, right?

Me:, I used to call his agent (blatantly lying at this point).

Even Crazier ECD: So can't you get the number from his agent?

Me: Ummm...let me ask client if she can help, ok?

And then I stayed away from the both of them for as long as I possibly could. Honestly, what on earth were they thinking? I can understand one person being crazy enough to think that I could call up Lasith Malinga, but to think that her boss could surpass her in a display of stupidity was incredulous. Next thing you know I'll be asked to find out who his hair dresser is.


True Story 2:

At a brainstorm for a cookery product with a shoestring budget, members of the agency and client were trying to come up with various promotional ideas that could be executed. The brilliant young AE from the agency volunteers this gem of an idea: a sticker that can be pasted on the bottom of a frying pan (or saucepan), so that every time somebody cooks, they are reminded of the product.

A gentle pointer that a sticker cannot be placed in the cooking area of a pan only elicited an even more exceptional idea: how about pasting the sticker on the bottom of the pan? After all, each time the pan is washed, the brand will be seen (never mind the char burned mess it would be after a stint in the fire).


Honestly, what on earth do these people carry on top of their shoulders, because it certainly isn't a head. Common sense is conspicuous by its absence. I shall not say anything ore, because I'm certain that these stories speak for themselves.

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa

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